Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
