Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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