It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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