I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
