I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
