His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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