distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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