vagina is talking i cant
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize