i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
