just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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