Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
