Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
