If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
