So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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