Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.