Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship