Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!