he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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