My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
