don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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