in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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