Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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