i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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