scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I deserve this hangover.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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