I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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