she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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