Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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