he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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