Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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