i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sorry about my life...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
