What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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