He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize