Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
