Church boner. Awkwardddd
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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