I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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