She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
