Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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