I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
