How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The adults are the big ones right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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