my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
