I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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