I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
