none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
