His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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