he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
