is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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