You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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