You're my little dorito
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
