its not stalking. its research.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
