We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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