Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
