You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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