At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
