the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
