Can Purell be used as lube?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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