ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
