I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize