My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
